Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Wait List, Part V

Happy Halloween, everyone! The Wait List concludes today with a stunning finale and tantalizing post script. It will leave you wanting much more from the lovely PineyLonesome...

"Shit, Edward, shit. That's my Dad. Shit, shit, shit." Bella quickly slid off of Edward's lap.
Edward's erection instantly softened. Well, as soft as a vampire erection was able to get, which by human standards would have been considered satisfyingly hard. He straightened out his pants, then rolled down the window.
"Officer Swan, I am so sorry. Bella missed her bus and I was giving her a ride home. Bella noticed something in my eye and she was was helping me extract it," Edward calmly stated.
Charlie's eyes seemed red with anger. Actually, they just seemed red. Bright red. Edward immediately knew that Charlie had been turned. But by whom? How? When? Why? His cell phone had been buzzing while Bella had been on his lap, but he'd turned it off, not wanting to be distracted. Perhaps he should have checked it.
"Yes, I'm sure Bella was just giving you an eye wash...with her tongue. You are an awful liar, by the way. Bella, come with me. We are going home," Charlie announced.
Edward knew that Charlie was a newborn and needed blood immediately. Bella might not be safe with him. He grabbed Charlie by his arm and ran into the woods with him to find an animal to feed on. When he got to the woods, Rosalie was already there, with a freshly killed deer.
"Sorry Edward. Next time, check your fucking texts," Rosalie said as she offered the deer to Charlie. Charlie wasted no time. He sucked the deer dry, his face dripping with fresh warm blood. Rosalie hoped his new vampire blood in his system would help with his erectile dysfunction problems. She noted that Charlie looked incredibly hot as he was feeding. Hotter than Emmett, who often lapped blood like a cat at the carcass of his deer. She always found his lapping to be a complete turn-off. What kind of vampire laps instead of sucks?
After Charlie was sated with 24 ounces of deer blood, Edward and Rosalie explained the situation. How Bella was being bullied and would continued to be threatened until she signed the wait list form. They then explained the wait list. Charlie had always thought the wait list was just some local urban legend, but he'd also wondered why so many people in town had simply disappeared. He had been more inclined to suspect vampires than the mill boiler.
"Sorry, Charlie," Rosalie said. Charlie looked at her and instead of yelling, he thanked her.
"Honestly, immortality comes in handy when you are a cop. Especially the only cop in town. So thank you. I've always wanted to be immortal. But what about Bella? How will she handle this information?" Charlie asked.
"We'll take care of Bella. You'll be fine. She'll be fine. We'll all be fine, now," said Edward.
The End.

Post Script
Charlie volunteered to take all boiler room shifts at the mill, in order to save other citizens from being led to their fiery deaths. He trained Jasper and Emmett to be deputy sheriffs. Everyone was happy with their new careers.
Rosalie fell in love with Charlie for his humanitarian acts and valor. She dumped Emmett, who was relieved because he never actually loved her.
Bella fully kissed Edward later on that evening. Edward had convinced Charlie to go out for more hunts with Rosalie so he could be alone with Bella. He instructed Bella to take a shower and get warmed up, then he would have a surprise for her. When Bella exited the shower, she noticed her towel was missing. In its place was Edward with a small face cloth. He dried her off, part by part. As he dried, he kissed her, part by part. When he reached her lips, he skipped the drying and kissed her, hard, like she had hoped to be kissed by him. His restraint training failed and he broke the bathroom sink and shower tiles trying to hold back the force of his erection. Though the bathroom was destroyed, Bella was unharmed save for a few pink slap marks on her naked ass.


  1. 7 days till you guys are in center-stage. That is very second-hand exciting!

  2. Kstewboy, I think we will be more Nevada border than center stage, but bless you for your kind words. And the pink slap marks were for you. Unless you aren't into that. Then they are for whatever random person comes across this mess of a fanfic parody by searching for sex+ economic downturn on Google.

    1. I hope that person finds their way here.

  3. I found LTT by searching for "Rob + what the fuck is wrong with me" so anything is possible.

    1. That is awesome. I like when they do a what people searched to find us post.

  4. Now were the slap marks on Beller's ass from Eddie's hand or his mighty penis?
    Doesn't matter. Hot either way.

    1. I believe the slap marks were from Edward's eyelashes. You haven't lived until you've had a proper eyelash batting on your ass, from Edward. Vampire eyelashes are crazy powerful.

    2. Not to mention hard, like marble, and fast. You don't know how fast they are!


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