Friday, November 23, 2012

"Bear with!" said Lynette, putting on an English accent and holding up her index finger to indicate we should wait.

So, perhaps you think everything in this trip was about Twilight and the premiere and muffins. It was not! Here I will briefly showcase the LA trip that I told all my coworkers I went on...

I told my boss about how we visited Venice beach and the canals...
Piney takes in the Pacific...
I left out that we went to Cafe Intelligentsia for personal reasons (cough, Chris Weitz) and that I bought a pair of mustard pants from Alternative Apparel for humour's sake (cough cough) (and they were 50% off and fit like a glove!)

I told my boss we ate at the infamous In 'n Out burgers and did the "silly Hollywood thing" at Grauman's Theatre. 

I left out that we went to the In 'n Out that Rob goes to (apparently) and then, with In 'n Out props in hand, we leg hitched each other Eclipse style at the Twilight handprints...
omg Kristen has the tiniest hands, ever. ALSO, StoneBumChum is wearing her Lobsterward shirt!!!
...and that me and StoneBumChum reenacted the Krupert...

Ok, so I'm a little short, and we're missing a railing
and LA Dodgers hat, but you get the point!

And of course I told my boss we went to the Getty Center, which houses some fabulous European works of art and has spectacular architecture and sweeping and unexpected views of LA and the ocean...

van Gogh's "Irises"
 I didn't tell her about... well, no, actually nothing too crazy occurred at the Getty :)

Ashram Esme FTW!!!! :D
And of course, I did mention to my boss that we perhaps drank a little too much... but we'll save that for another post ;)


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!

Unless you're from Canada... that was so last month.  Or you're from some other not America country (half of my readers).  But, you can still enjoy this delicious Macy's Parade mock-up by Stacey of The Staceys of Talk Supe.

Time for Tofurkey!!! NOM NOM NOM.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

"I love a good lineup!" exclaimed Zoe.

We should've entitled Ashram Esme just simply Murphy's Law. Because each and every time something could go wrong, it did. Whatever couldn't possibly be any worse, suddenly was worse. And let's not even bring up the airport saga we went through getting to LAX.  JFK airport's dead, Angela! Don't bring it up again.

What it's like NOT to meet Stephenie Meyer after waiting 4 hours in the sun to do so.

Saturday morning there was a SURPRISE! slotted for 10:00am in our itinerary, so I dressed cute and brought stuff to have signed. After realizing it was not the mass celebrity meet and greet, we quickly surmised that it was Stephenie Meyer. That morning was the morning we learned the hard way that Summit and CHE (Chad Hudson Events, who put on the whole thing) have a serious case of mismanagement, miscommunication, and Schadenfreude. 

This horrible blonde woman was calling number groups (based on your wristband) so it wasn't a bum rush or whatever. It was a random drawing, only they didn't tell us that not all of us were going to meet Stephenie. They didn't tell us anything except to MOVE BACK! in really surly tones.

I'll let PineyLonesome explain... she really paints the setting most accurately:
First, she decided to call out numbers without using any sort of megaphone or microphone or visual aid. None of us could hear her due to the ambient crowd noise. It would have been so easy to write the numbers down on a poster and have someone hold up the poster. It would have been even easier to make use of the massive JumboTron screen behind her. Or, she could get a megaphone. At some point, one of her staff handed her a megaphone (halfway into the signing) and she started calling out numbers, but the megaphone was defective. It made it even worse. Some people started to tweet out the numbers, which was also helpful (If you had the Wifi password, and Wifi password was only given out via rumor and word of mouth instead of being posted anywhere, you know, ACCESSIBLE).

But even worse than her complete lack of competence was her condescending attitude. She told us that if anyone in line failed to obey the rules, we'd all lose our privilege. Another girl there, who is a preschool teacher, told me that she occasionally uses those tactics on the 3 year olds (but she didn't like to do that since it punishes the really good kids at the expense of the really bad kids).

Then the blonde woman kept making us repeat after her "1 photo, 1 autograph, don't bring anything else to sign." Then, because she thought it was funny, she'd occasionally yell out (with clarity somehow) stupid questions like "HOW MANY PHOTOS?" and "HOW MANY AUTOGRAPHS" and "WHAT SHOULD YOU BRING TO SIGN." People in the audience responded. Except LTT people and a few others, because we all are adults and can fucking follow instructions and don't need someone to quiz us nonstop about said instructions.
After all the numbers were called, which no one said "That's it, guys! Sorry!", we were left standing around confused, trying to see if that was the end of the signing or if SM was just taking a lunch break. The CHE team had left to go work on the concert set up, which was quickly approaching in the itinerary slot and right in the same area we were all standing. It was 700 people completely baffled and rightfully pissed off, stood around going, "WTF IS GOING ON! Are we NOT meeting Stephenie?"

Finally the blonde woman said to us, "I'm going to check with Stephenie and see if she's willing to stay longer to meet more people. Don't be upset...yet."



So, we stood for about 10 minutes next to the other slighted Twihards (including Nutty Madame, mind you) and then decided, "Screw this, let's get lunch." and we did. Skipping the Twilight Concert in which basically every famous person ever associated with Twilight attended (no, not actually, just five).  (eye roll)  Whatever.


By Sunday, the day we assumed we'd meet Guri (who wasn't even in LA, btw), I knew that I had to dress down and not bring anything to sign. Expect nothing. NOTHING. Because as soon as you expect more than a stale yet somehow slightly moist blueberry muffin and an epic shaft of a celebrity meet-and-greet, they will suddenly run out of  bagels and Peter Facinelli will skip ONLY your section and then wave to everyone like he did sign your Return of the Volturi poster.

Clearly Peter is waving directly at Ashram Esme.

Luckily, my plan worked. PFach turned out looking deliciously hot, and stood close enough for me to make out with him. I did not make out with him, don't worry. If I had, you wouldn't be getting these after-the-fact-updates from me, since I would've been kicked out of Fan Camp stat.

In addition to people giving us free stuff, we also got to meet-and-greet (use of the term "meet" loosely here) Jackson, Maggie Grace (ADORE!), Mia Maestro, MyAnna Buring (Downton Abbey ftw), BooBoo Radley, and some kid named Brandon who played a wolf in BD2.

*Drool* He was so hot in person. Cannot express how hot.

I'm going to pretend we are in a park together in this photo,
and he is pouring me a glass of wine while I'm lying back,
propped up on my elbows, looking up at him. (nods)
MyAnna sees you... (Seriously no clue what's happening here,
but I own that exact shade of lipstick)

Jackson signing Piney's Twilight novel and looking dapper.
Brandon guy signing the Ashram Esme banner.
StoneBumChum, the artist, featured on right :)

Mia looking cute
Still looking cute
I loved you on LOST, Maggie!
Go Team Seth!

After all of that nonsense, we left to go to the beach. Well, that was the plan at least for me, Piney, and Ilene. We'd head to the hotel, drop some stuff off, then go to Venice Beach. The weather was gorgeous, nothing was standing in our way... 

Except that when we got down to the main camp area (Group Sex got shafted to the parking garage, did we mention that?  Remember when we mentioned that before like it was a joke and not going to happen? Well, it did happen. Fur realz. Murphy showed up and laid down his law), there were all these OTHER celebrities doing meet and greet with the people in the main camp. And the organization of it was so ridiculous that the celebrities were all on the outside and the fan camp people on the inside, but then all the Group Sex people walking by were...on the outside! Which enabled some entertaining things to occur...

Do you recall when I was all, "Oh, I might meet Charlie Bewley!"?  

I did.

He's so much taller than I expected!
In an email to Spirit Camp I expanded on the story... 
The most memorable thing at Fan Camp (besides all the glorious times with my Ashram Esme girls) was meeting Charlie Bewley and Traci and KBV seeing me on the "wrong" side of the guardrail (Charlie's side). On our walk back to regular Tent City (Groups 1-5's tents), we saw Erik Odom in a henley that was nearly the same color as Tom Hiddleston's eyes, and Piney got a photo of us right after some girl serenaded him with her mandolin playing (NOT LYING).
Erik Odom photo bomb!!!
This was taken while he was recording the serenade.
Yes, I am laughing at the absurdity.
Then was looking for Guri. And I mean LOOKING. I scoured the regular Tent City like an eagle looking for a rabbit. No Guri. There was Noel, but no Guri. Where was he? I started tweeting it out: Guri WHERE ARE YOU? And some girl in Scotland gave me false hope in her reply. By then Piney was long gone, back to the hotel to get ready for our trip to the beach. But I wanted Guri. It was serious. That was when I looked up and saw Charlie Bewley basically 10 ft in front of me, with no barrier in the way, no anything. Just Charlie, his handler, and a small throng of girls on the other side of the barrier. I approached him and somehow managed to speak in a normal sounding voice, "Are you Charlie?" at which point he turned back, looked me in the eye, smiled, and said, "Yes."  I asked for a photo, the whole thing was surreal. I was so unprepared. I had nothing to sign, nothing but my camera phone [and boobs?]. I debated telling him that Jules says hi. But I didn't want to be that creepy girl who is friends with his friend. So, I just thanked him and his handler and walked away in anonymity trying to escape the Fan Camp barriers (there was no exit that way). By the time I'd rounded back to find another way out, more girls had discovered Charlie's precarious lack of barrier placement and there was a line on both sides (one sympathized with the behind-the-barrier girls who got the shaft).  Then I tweeted the photo of me and Charlie to Jules, who thought it was hilarious and asked if I'd told him to put his cap on correctly. In the words of Mr. Hiddleston, "Ehehehehe."
Erik is an illuminated manuscript.
Oh, and in case you were wondering... we definitely made it to the beach!

and the Venice Canals...


Return of the Volturi

Here is the poster I made for Breaking Dawn 2

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

We did this (past tense of Let's do this)

Yeah, we went, we waited, we waited some more, we wandered, we waited some more, we walked a lot, we drank a lot, we waited more.... and then it happened. Black carpet. Premiere film. Me thinking Rob's eyes were pretty (I don't know even know myself anymore). All of us deciding we liked Kristen as much as KStewBoy does because her dress did NOT look like THAT in real look phenomenally gorgeous and super tasteful. We saw all 3 of our men we wanted to see (Billy Burke, Michael Sheen, and Daniel Cudmore) and StoneBumChum got a compliment for her mustache from SheenPeen. Yes, that's right, Sheen looked her in the eye and told her he liked her mustache.

Sheen reading our Aro sign... right before he
laughed and complimented StoneBumChum

The film is amazing. Go see it!!! Go!!!!!!

More to come, but I'll leave you with my favorite Rob photo, because it's everyone's iphone background now...

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

America Rocks! Go Vote and Donate to Sandy Victims

Happy Election Day, Americans!  Remember to GO VOTE! :)

In light of not having much to say today other than that, I decided to get down to the nitty gritty of Hurricane Sandy and the impending winter (Winter is coming, indeed).  I may have power and such, but lots of people still do not, the gas has basically run out for both cars and generators, and thousands of people don't even need power because they physically do not have a house any more.

You can help! Here are some ideas and locations to send physical goods. Please ship with the most expedited option if you're sending physical goods because the people here need those things NOW.

Note: No more general clothing items are needed. But I'm sure your local Salvation Army or Goodwill will be happy to receive your gently used clothing donations.

My friend knows people in Breezy Point (where all those houses burnt to the ground and the others flooded) and has given me the info for that area. Make sure you write SANDY RELIEF DONATIONS on your box. The people there need the following
  • Diapers
  • Shoes
  • Underwear (new!)
  • Bras
  • Brushes
  • Soap and other toiletries (toothpaste, toothbrushes--individual packs, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, tampons/pads)
  • Baby Wipes
  • Batteries (mostly AA)
  • Blankets
  • Giftcards to places like Target, Walmart, CVS, etc.
Mail these items to:
Silver Gull
1 Beach 193rd Street
Breezy Point, NY 11697

Breezy Point also needs fire/construction goods such as:
  • Worker gloves
  • Heavy duty trash bags
  • Worker boots
Mail these items to:
1 Fireman's Plaza
Breezy Point, NY 11697

Occupy Sandy is an organized group who is sending out groups of volunteers daily to the hardest hit areas (Rockaways, NJ, Staten Island, Breezy Point, and Lower East Side). They have created an Amazon Registry to make it easy to know exactly what to send. If you already have these items, you can simply ship them directly to their collection point. Make sure you write SANDY RELIEF DONATIONS on your box.

NY Relief Registry:
NJ Relief Registry:

They listed these as greatest needs: Blankets, Candles, Flashlights and Head Lamps, Lights, Water, Food (non-perishable, ready-to-eat, and stuff you'd actually want to eat; Remember these people have NO power), Batteries (for flashlights), Diapers and Wipes, Baby Formula, Gloves and Masks, Rubber boots, Shovels, Cleaning supplies and bleach, Trash bags, Serving dishes and utensils, Anything that produces heat, Winter wear (jackets, hats, gloves, warm stuff).

NY Relief:
Ship goods to:
Church of St. Luke and St. Matthew in Clinton Hill
520 Clinton Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11238


St. Jacobi Church
5406 4th Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11220

NJ Relief:
Barrow Mansion
83 Wayne St.
Jersey City, NJ 07302

People definitely need blankets and winter clothing!  Just imagine your high school gym or church basement with a bunch of cots full of people whose homes are destroyed... Now imagine the highs are 45F in the daytime and the gym/basement doesn't have power. That's the current situation for hundreds of families. Send Blankets and Warm Coats, Scarves, Hats, Gloves!!!

As winter approaches, more than ever people will be needing coats. Many people cannot keep coats throughout the year, so they have to buy a new one each year and simply cannot afford to do so and put food on the table as well. This year all of those people PLUS all of the people who lost their homes will need coats.  All sizes, all ages, all genders. Make sure you write NYCARES COAT DRIVE on your box.

Mail coats to:
New York, NY 10001

If you simply want to donate money, that's totally fine and way easier than shipping stuff. 
Any amount helps!

You of course can easily donate to the Red Cross here:

And I'll also suggest donating to NYCares here:

NYCares is the major volunteering network in NYC. More info on them here. 

Thanks and I will see everyone in Ashram Esme TOMORROW EVENING! :D