PineyLonesome is BACK for Part B of her multiple part installment of a numbered and sub-numbered outlined list of a definitive guide to Tent City. LIKE IT UP, YO!
5. You are probably wondering how exactly you will replicate your current work-out routine at Tent City. It is important to stay in shape during this stressful event. Elevated cortisol levels will cause you to break out, store fat in your stomach area, and basically look like hell just in time for the premiere.
a. Regular Routine: Walking to and from bus stop.
Tent City Alternate Routine: Run the perimeter of Tent City. Alternatively, walk from your hotel room to your tent.
b. Regular Routine: Freezer ice tray squat(s) (plural if you sometimes have 2 drinks on weekends)
Tent City Alternate Routine: Anytime security gives you grief for drinking, squat down in front of him (or her) as if you were going to offer a blow job. Have a friend take a compromising photo and threaten to post it to this blog.
c. Regular Routine: Pretending your husband is <Insert name of Twi cast member or Twi director of second installment here> during sex.
Tent City Alternate Routine: Pretend the guy you met at Lucky Strike who looks sort of like Guri W. (if you don't look at him directly) is <Insert name of Twi cast member or Twi director of second installment here> during sex.
|Like this, but sexy.|
6. You are probably wondering what to do for fun at Tent City since you aren't allowed to dump food or drink on fellow campers, consume jello shots, or shoot firearms. We recommend re-enacting Bob scenes from Twin Peaks. Simply dress up in creepy denim shirts and gray wigs and show up outside other people's tents in the middle of the night. Peer in with evil intent. When they scream, tell them to fire walk with you. Then turn into an owl and fly away, leaving only the scent of smoke and terror.
7. If you aren't familiar with Twin Peaks, you can play "find an image of Peter Lambert on Google that isn't that one image of him in Editing Masterclass." There is at least one other image out there. First one to find it wins. Last one has to actually watch his Editing Masterclass video the entire way through.
|Not this pic. This is the Editing Masterclass pic. Good luck.|
BEARS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM!!!!!!!!
|I don't know
who this is, but she's wearing an LTT shirt, |
so I know she is freaking awesome.
|They're NOT bears. They're marsupials.|
Part C to follow.