See You at the Gate!

You better hold on tight, spider monkeys, because we're wheels and wings up TODAY!

I just wanna try one thing...

Hurricane Sandy, Meet Shitshow2012

So.... I survived the hurricane (yay!) and my apartment did too (yay!) and my power grid and water source did too (yay yay!)  Which meant that I was all set to keep on working FT at my home office job that sometimes requires more than FT amounts of work...  and thus no time for this blog because I have to make all my deadlines happen before I fly to LA.

AS YOU KNOW, we got into Group Sex since we were on The Wait List Saga, Part I.  It's all very exciting. It's like... they have these check-in times, and you feel like, "What are cmaping out for, if it's so organized?"  BUT for Group Sex, our check-in time slot is basically 5 hours long. So it's GUARANTEED I will be waiting AT LEAST 5 hours in line for this premiere.  Which is, in a distant and uncomfortable way, rather exciting!!!

So, that's all I have time for now. I hope you enjoyed the Fan Fiction by Pineylonesome as much as I did.  Also, can I just say that I am not even feeling embarrassed when I pause and rewind my DVRed commercials if the Breaking Dawn preview comes on.  HECK YES!

Well chuffed for this, people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRING IT ON, LA!

This airport flooding was SO three days ago!!!!!! LET'S DO THIS!!!!

The Wait List, Part III

The Wait List continues today in the third installment of the story...

Bella looked across the parking lot. It was empty. He was gone. Of course he was gone. 15 minutes is a long time to wait for someone who is not yet a friend. Damn it. If she ran, she'd at least catch the last bus home.

 

She adjusted her backpack and started running toward the bus lot. She got there just as the last bus had left the stop. The walk home was at least 45 minutes and it had just started to rain. Again. This time, the rain was colder, as it was part of an cold front coming down from the gulf of Alaska.  

 

She started walking along the side of the main road, which did not have a sidewalk. Her pants were soggy. Her shoes were muddy. Her hair, which still hadn't dried from her earlier shower, was completely soaked. Jessica drove by and rolled down her window. "I can give you a ride home, but you'll need to join the wait list," she taunted. "Fat fucking chance, Jessica!" Bella replied.  Jessica aimed her car toward the puddle near Bella, skidded her wheels, and sprayed Bella with dirty pavement water. Misery. This was misery.

 

Another car slowed down beside her. No doubt one of Jessica's groupies. She turned away in order to avoid more puddle dousing. "Get in," a voice called. It was a male voice. It was Edward's voice. The car pulled over to the point where the asphalt gave way to the mud.

 

"Sorry...I'm soaking. I'm going to ruin your seats, " Bella warned.

 

"I don't care about these seats. Get in now, it's not safe out there" Edward demanded.

 

Bella sat down. Edward put the heater on and directed the vents to her face and feet. The instant warmth felt wonderful.  She placed her hands to the vent after her face had dried and let the hot air warm her pruny, cold fingers. "Thank you. Thank you. I'll help pay for the mud cleaning," she told Edward. They were quiet for the next 10 minutes as she felt her body temperature slowly climb back to 98.6 degrees. He pulled onto her street. She didn't remember telling him where she lived, but maybe she had. She was exhausted.

 

"I live on the fourth house down, on the left. But do you mind driving a little further? There's a dirt road at the end of the street. Would you mind pulling off on it when you get to it?" Bella asked.

 

Edward nodded. They passed her house. The lights were still off, meaning her father wasn't home yet. He was probably working another late shift.

 

Edward pulled off to the side road and turned the car off. "You can kiss me now," he joked.

 

Bella unstrapped herself from her car seat. She moved to his side of the car. He looked nervous. He had been joking about her kissing him, but she was serious. She needed to kiss him. She reached over and unclicked his belt buckle.

 

"Listen, about the list. I need to tell you something. And it might scare you. Ready?"

 

Bella nodded. Guess the kiss would have to wait, she thought.

 

"When you sign the list, you are basically signing one of your parents up to work the boiler room at the mill. It is the most dangerous assignment. The boiler is unstable and often just blows, but someone needs to be there to constantly attend to it. The mill cannot afford another boiler. No one wants that awful job, so it is scheduled by a lottery system. If your number is picked, one of your parents has the shift. The more people on the list, the less likely the odds for one of your parents to be picked. No one has ever served more than five shifts there without being killed by that boiler. So that's why they want you to sign the list. To sign your Dad up for the lottery." 

 

Bella went pale. Edward took her hand.

 

"Jesus. That's awful," Bella replied. She started to cry. She couldn't lose her father. 

 

"Your Dad has avoided the list since he's the only cop in town, and he's had no one sign the list for him. People can't put themselves on the list, that's one of the strange rules. Now that you are here, people expect you to put him on the list. They are going to hound you until you sign it, Bella. The bullying will get worse. And if you don't sign it, Charlie will be forced into working the shift. No lottery option." Edward hated to be the one to tell her the horrific nature of the list, but he knew that if he didn't, no one else would.

 

Bella looked shocked. She actually looked like she might pass out. He had to think fast.

 

"There is a way to keep your Dad safe, though. It's not conventional and it is pretty extreme, but it will keep him safe," Edward stated.

"I can't lose him," replied Bella.

Arm wrestling would've been WAY better than this crap.

You know where I want my next job to be at? Summit Entertainment.

No, not because they historically produced mediocre small budget films that mostly focused on female leads and flimsy thriller plotlines. I don't want to work on the production side. Puh-leeze, those hours? No thanks.

No, no. I want to work in promotions, marketing, and publicity. Why? Because you apparently don't ever have to do anything in your job. You can put out a hard deadline to give an answer by, and then just not meet your deadline. Added end of the year bonus for not issuing an apology via your website.

Arm wrestling for a spot at Fan Camp would've been SO MUCH FASTER and MORE EFFICIENT than this random drawing. I mean, surely it's based on a really simple algorithm that I can google:

This is totally not right, btw.

I'm totally right on this one.

4,000 chicks waiting longer than it takes to turn into a vampire = REALLY ANNOYING AND LAME

4,000 chicks arm wrestling = awesome

In other news, Donald Fehr is still being a jerk.  Here's my open letter to the players: You're NOT GETTING 57%! STOP THINKING YOU ARE. This is WHY you're locked out. Because you're NOT going to get that. Take the 50% and get all the people you're taking work away from back into their jobs. I mean, really, I'm being serious. This $1.62billion "loss" is such crap when you look at the thousands of lives you are affecting by your petulance. And I don't mean the people wanting to watch you play hockey again and buy your shit so you can get 50% of the proceeds. I mean the people selling tickets to your games, cleaning up the arenas before and afterward, cleaning the ice, running the office, filming and producing your games, broadcasting your games, flying your private jets, cleaning your private jets, selling your products, selling food at the arenas. I mean THOSE people. Those people who ARE NOT WORKING NOW BECAUSE OF YOU. I DO NOT HAVE PATIENCE FOR THIS.

/end shouty caps

Don't you kind of wish this all ended here:

"I wanna be a vampire and, like, lurve you always and 4eva."
"Are you sure? Cuz it's kind of boring and I generally always act like a
whiny husband with a cold."
"I'm totes sure."
"LET'S DO THIS THEN!"

We would've had SO MUCH MORE free time.

DIY Day! How To Make Your Own Tent City: A Step-by-Step Guide

Guest post today by Rachel B!!!! Rachel is who introduced me to Twilight back in 2008! Rachel can't make it to LA this November because she just had the cutest baby ever and the @BD2FanCamp FAQ didn't discuss how infants are considered as registrants.  So, she has given us an easy to follow DIY guide to making your own Tent City!!!!!  READ ON :D

Why Rachel can't come to BD2 Tent City.

 Listen, not everyone can really afford to go to L.A. for the premiere of BD2.  Whatever your reasons may be for not going to L.A.--money, time, children--you can still have fun getting ready for BD2 by creating your own tent city!  And let's face it, if you don't camp out for Twilight movies you are NOT a real fan.

How To Make Your Own Tent City:

Step 1: Set up your tent in front of your house.  This is best if you live in a big city in a row of houses but works just as well if you live anywhere.  Set up your lawn chair and cooler by your tent and put out a sign stating "Line Forms Here"

Step 2: Bring your TV outside with you and constantly play Twilight, NM, Eclipse and BD1 on repeat.  If your eyes need a break you can listen to the soundtracks on repeat, too! In order of course.

Step 3: Put out your cardboard cutout of Edward, Jacob and/or Kellan Lutz.  Wait, you don't have one of those?  You're lying.  You then make a little sign for your cutout saying "saving [your name]'s place in line" and put it out whenever you need to go inside to go to the bathroom.

Step 4:  When you go inside to go to the bathroom, put out a box of donuts and a little sign that says "free donuts for Twilight fans."  If When someone stops to take a donut, run outside screaming "nooooooo!  eating donuts is a violation of tent city codes!!!!!"

Step 5:  Tell anyone who comes to your door (friends, the mailman, UPS, girl scouts) that they cannot come into your tent city unless they have pre-registered with Summit.

Step 6: Stock your cooler with True Blood.  Try to hand it out to anyone who walks by and invite them to hang out with you in your tent!  Oh wait, wrong vampire book series.  Meh do it anyways!!!

Step 7: Oh! you know what else you can do with your cardboard cutouts?  Stick them in your tent and have the flap unzipped just enough so it looks like they are peeping out.  See if anyone notices.

Step 8: Follow me on twitter. (@rachel_b123)  you'll see why, oh, you'll see

Step 9:  Host a Tent City Sign Making Contest in your tent city.  Invite all your friends and hang the best signs up on your tent.

Step 10: Go watch Breaking Dawn 2 in your own city.  Without all the smelly people who have actually been camping out for a week.  Enjoy the usage of your own bathroom.  Buy popcorn AND soda at the movie because you saved hundreds on dollars not buying plane tickets out to L.A.!  Heck, buy yourself a new BD2 tshirt too!

Fin.

Rachel is the brilliant mind behind the blog "You Just Can't Google Everything."  She is a terrific Twilight fan, and a lover of Vampire Diaries, True Blood and most recently, Game of Thrones.  She is Team Emmett.  She also has other interests besides sparkly vampires and sexy werewolves, but those aren't really relevant to this post.