I'm looking forward to...

So, you know how something like a major election, a Super Storm (not from X-Men), or 3 weeks worth of work shoved into 1 week during which a major storm hits and you're not sure if you'll make it out okay gets you all distracted from the really obvious big thing that's coming up in a week?

That happened to me. Luckily I'd already loaded all that WeirdoG fanfic of Nat's.

Anyway.

Wednesday night, while attempting to get to sleep (totally in vain, btw), I let my mind wander to a place I'd not been since 2010... CHARLIE BEWLEY!  It was a weird sensation. He has pretty eyes and such, and he's a great flirt. I love a great flirt!  But he sort of got lost on my radar at some point... I think it was when his twitter feed became so excessively boring and running related that I unfollowed him. I won't apologize for that, not even now.  Regardless, I was thinking about how exciting it will be to FINALLY meet Guri Weinberg, and my mind's enactment of that event (which is yet to occur) led me to a full-on brain fantasy with Charlie Bewley.

It was fun. Flirty, relaxing. He signed my poster and I said a clever thing and it was all... normal. Fun. Then I quoted Doctor Who's "Blink" line: You're missing the BIG question. And Charlie said, "What's the BIG question?" the way Carey Mulligan does in the actual episode (I'd just watched "Blink" that night as my scary Halloween treat) and just as Michael Obiora responds, I said: Will you have a drink with me?  Of course, this is my brain and my fantasy, so clearly Charlie said yes. We got beers at a real brewery a friend of my friend owns and then he half-jokingly offered to fly me to Whistler for snowboarding. I declined. He kissed me. I put my wedding ring in my pocket.

This has always been my favorite photo of Bewley... and that silly Starbucks one in Vancouver (saved to my hard drive).

It was a good, simple, mostly clean fantasy.

But it left me thinking, "Oh my gosh! I completely forgot he was even IN these films and will actually BE at this event."  Like, I might MEET Charlie Bewley, who I was totally into 2 years ago, in like 5 days!  What kind of insanity is that?

Yeah, I'm pretty excited, guys.
 

Don't disappoint, Bewley! I want your ridiculous. SO MUCH.

ps-Michael Obiora is pretty hot, in case you were wondering.
And he has an ENTIRE segment of his website dedicated
to shirtless photos of himself. Which I find
endearing and hilariously off-putting all at once.

 ALSO, Charlie finally has an age listed on wikipedia. 31... hm.... Okay, Bewley. Okay.

See you people on Wednesday.

The Wait List, Part V

Happy Halloween, everyone! The Wait List concludes today with a stunning finale and tantalizing post script. It will leave you wanting much more from the lovely PineyLonesome...

"Shit, Edward, shit. That's my Dad. Shit, shit, shit." Bella quickly slid off of Edward's lap.

 

Edward's erection instantly softened. Well, as soft as a vampire erection was able to get, which by human standards would have been considered satisfyingly hard. He straightened out his pants, then rolled down the window.

 

"Officer Swan, I am so sorry. Bella missed her bus and I was giving her a ride home. Bella noticed something in my eye and she was was helping me extract it," Edward calmly stated.

 

Charlie's eyes seemed red with anger. Actually, they just seemed red. Bright red. Edward immediately knew that Charlie had been turned. But by whom? How? When? Why? His cell phone had been buzzing while Bella had been on his lap, but he'd turned it off, not wanting to be distracted. Perhaps he should have checked it.

 

"Yes, I'm sure Bella was just giving you an eye wash...with her tongue. You are an awful liar, by the way. Bella, come with me. We are going home," Charlie announced.

 

Edward knew that Charlie was a newborn and needed blood immediately. Bella might not be safe with him. He grabbed Charlie by his arm and ran into the woods with him to find an animal to feed on. When he got to the woods, Rosalie was already there, with a freshly killed deer.

 

"Sorry Edward. Next time, check your fucking texts," Rosalie said as she offered the deer to Charlie. Charlie wasted no time. He sucked the deer dry, his face dripping with fresh warm blood. Rosalie hoped his new vampire blood in his system would help with his erectile dysfunction problems. She noted that Charlie looked incredibly hot as he was feeding. Hotter than Emmett, who often lapped blood like a cat at the carcass of his deer. She always found his lapping to be a complete turn-off. What kind of vampire laps instead of sucks?

 

After Charlie was sated with 24 ounces of deer blood, Edward and Rosalie explained the situation. How Bella was being bullied and would continued to be threatened until she signed the wait list form. They then explained the wait list. Charlie had always thought the wait list was just some local urban legend, but he'd also wondered why so many people in town had simply disappeared. He had been more inclined to suspect vampires than the mill boiler.

 

"Sorry, Charlie," Rosalie said. Charlie looked at her and instead of yelling, he thanked her.

 

"Honestly, immortality comes in handy when you are a cop. Especially the only cop in town. So thank you. I've always wanted to be immortal. But what about Bella? How will she handle this information?" Charlie asked.

 

"We'll take care of Bella. You'll be fine. She'll be fine. We'll all be fine, now," said Edward.

 

The End.

Post Script

 

Charlie volunteered to take all boiler room shifts at the mill, in order to save other citizens from being led to their fiery deaths. He trained Jasper and Emmett to be deputy sheriffs. Everyone was happy with their new careers.

 

Rosalie fell in love with Charlie for his humanitarian acts and valor. She dumped Emmett, who was relieved because he never actually loved her.

 

Bella fully kissed Edward later on that evening. Edward had convinced Charlie to go out for more hunts with Rosalie so he could be alone with Bella. He instructed Bella to take a shower and get warmed up, then he would have a surprise for her. When Bella exited the shower, she noticed her towel was missing. In its place was Edward with a small face cloth. He dried her off, part by part. As he dried, he kissed her, part by part. When he reached her lips, he skipped the drying and kissed her, hard, like she had hoped to be kissed by him. His restraint training failed and he broke the bathroom sink and shower tiles trying to hold back the force of his erection. Though the bathroom was destroyed, Bella was unharmed save for a few pink slap marks on her naked ass.

The Wait List, Part IV

Part IV of The Wait List... whatever will PineyLonesome thrill us with today?!

"Bella, I need you to breathe in. A deep breath. Then out." Edward took both of her hands in his.

Bella did as she was instructed. She wasn't feeling well. Edward had not been joking. She could tell that what he was saying was the truth. She wondered how she could get her father to leave town. She wondered if Charlie knew the truth.

"Kiss me, Edward. I want to know what you have to say, but I'm also worried whatever it is will freak me out and then we won't kiss. Right now, I don't know anything. So kiss me, before it is too late. I don't want to be like two characters in a rom-com series, where they almost kiss in the first episode. But then someone walks in on them with horrible news, right before they kiss. The viewer then has to endure 4 fucking seasons and 3 other failed relationships for them to kiss again. Let's skip those 4 seasons and lovers, Edward, shall we?"

Bella looked so sincere and beautiful. He couldn't resist a proposition like that. Edward scooted over, towards Bella, and allowed her to straddle him. He put his hand on her face, hoping that his years of restraint training worked. He was nearly certain he could keep his cock in his pants and his fangs in his mouth. Nearly. His extensive training had prepared him to deal with attractive women (and men), but they hadn't prepared him for Bella.

He put his hands through her hair and kissed her on her cheek. Her breath was warm against his ears. "I'm going to kiss you now, Edward. On your lips," she whispered. "Are you ready for this?"

Edward nodded, and mumbled "ummmm-hmmm" under his breath. Bella ran two fingers down the side of his face, then down his neck. She kissed his chin first. Her lips were soft and hotter than he remembered human lips to be. The restraint trainer had warm lips, sensuous lips. But they were not as hot as Bella's, nor as full and moist.  He ran his hands down the length of her back, resting them on her hips. Bella smiled. She kissed him on his left cheek, then his right. She moved to the center of his face and kissed his nose. He could smell the soap on her skin. It was lavender and mint soap, and it smelled fresh. She must have showered very recently. He could also smell her flesh. It was sweet and a little spicy, and mixed with sweat and salt. He had the sudden urge to lick her, but he knew if he did that, his restraint would cease.

He noticed a whirl of red lights in the car. At first he thought he was having some sort of lust-induced seizure. Maybe his restraint had led to some sort of vampire stroke. He looked out of the window. It was Charlie. Charlie was standing outside the driver side door, holding a baton and looking very angry.